ARE YOU THEIR COACH?

What keeps a person from opening up, from sharing? What hinders communication? One of the reasons a person will not open up to another is because of the fear of being judged or criticized. We are very hesitant to open up to those whom we feel would reject or not accept what we have to say. Who needs critics! We have enough of those! This is one of the main reasons teens won't open up to their parents. "If I do tell them how I really feel, all I'll do is throw them into shock or get a lecture back! Who needs it!"

If you're going to lay a foundation for communication, next to the stone of "accessibility," lay the foundation of "acceptance." If someone is really going to feel free to communicate their very heart with you, they first need to be assured of your acceptance of them as a person not your acceptance of their behavior. You can say, "That is wrong," as long as you do not reject them. Is this not the way it is with God? Our behavior may be wrong: He may have to chasten us; but we are "... accepted in the beloved" (Ephesians 1:6).

Things we say as parents show our children that there are certain things they can't communicate because to do so makes them unacceptable. Actually, we should teach them that the reason things should not be said is because the thing itself is not proper, appropriate, or right; but never should we say things like: "Don't say that, what will people say or think about you?" or "Hush, nice people don't feel that way." Also be careful about saying, "I don't understand you" because the implication there is that there is something wrong with them. If you don't understand, say, "I don't understand what you are saying." Then, you are not rejecting them as people.

Are you your child's critic, or ARE YOU THEIR COACH? Are you on their team? Are they convinced of it? If so, they will share anything with you. Give them the opportunity!

" A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). If the heavenly Father accepts us just the way we are, should not the earthly father?